Mothers

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My mum is coming to visit me for 3 days this week so I thought I share some feelings I have about her. I also found this wonderful website that has some amazing quotes about mothers.

I have conflicting images of my mother –
one. This person who wouldn’t let me do anything when I was growing up as she was very strict and straight down the line.
Two. A person who is a lost teenager and hasn’t found themselves yet.

When I was younger she was exactly that ‘my mother’. While I was a teenager I disliked her because I wasn’t aloud to do things I wanted to and she was the one stopping me from doing them. Now I look back and I thank her for being that way because I know that all the choices she made for me where the right ones. It was hard to appreciate her care at the time but now I’m starting to understand.

My father and her separated in my last years of school and I saw a completely new person. She stayed out late and didn’t seem to care what I got up to – at the time I thought she must have been going through a mid life crisis! But I realise now she was just being herself and being free. Since then I have found that she doesn’t seem to have direction in her life and still hasn’t worked out who she is. I wish I could help her and sooth all the pain and turmoil inside her. I try to guide her in the right direction but she doesn’t seem want to go there.

I know that I’m still in the process of finding out who I am- I’m reading this amazing book by Louise Hay and it is really helping me find my feet, but I wish that I could give my mum the gift of finding out who she is so she would be completely happy.

Does anyone else see 2 sides to their mother?
Or know of people that seem lost?
I’d love to hear your stories so please leave a comment.

Sooty

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I'd like to introduce Sooty - he is my beautiful 15 month old cat. I received him from a lady that was giving her unwanted kittens away. He was only 6 weeks old when I got him. He has such a wonderful personality although can be quite grumpy when he wants to be.

He loves to chase toys and play with your hands. My mum calls him Mohammad because he seems to use his paws to sort of box at you....he is so gentle and never uses his claws.

He isn't a big smoocher so I mostly get my cuddles when he has just woken up in the morning. I love to stand by the window; look out at the new day and listen to him purr.

I'd love to hear about your beautiful animals that put a smile on your face.

My Mama

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This blog is dedicated to my Mama (Grandmother) who passed away 15 years ago.
My Mama was a wonderful cook – she made everything from scratch, pasta, baked goods and all the yummy traditional meals.
I remember even on the hottest summer day she would be in the kitchen baking away with sweat pouring off her. I loved going to her house, the smells from the kitchen and garden were amazing. There was always so much to eat that I’m surprised that I’m not as big as a house – although if she was alive today I’m sure I would be!!

I wish she was alive so:

She could teach me to cook
She could pass down all her wonderful recipes to me
So she could teach me to crochet
To hear all her stories about her life and her journey to Australia
For her to pass on her knowledge about life and give me guidance
So I could get a great big hug from her
So she could see the woman I have become {would she be proud?}

I thought of her last night when I found her old dinner set that I have wrapped up in newspaper and stashed away in the cupboard. I should really have them on display- they are just beautiful but I’m so scared that they will be broken.

I decided to use her plates in a composition that I was photographing to put on the front of my own recipe journal. None of my Mama’s recipes were written down so I have decided to create my own recipe journal that I can pass onto my children (when I have them).

I will post a picture of the journal when it is complete but for now I have added a picture of my Mama’s plates and a close up of the detail in the middle – enjoy!

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Sometimes I wonder what we are here for? What is our purpose in life supposed to be? – what is my purpose? What am I supposed to do creatively, career wise and spiritually?
Sometimes I feel so lost about who I am – I want someone to show me the way. I know I should be excited to find my own way through life but why haven’t I found or had an inkling about what I’m supposed to do? Perhaps I don’t notice the signs?

I read all these amazing blogs about wonderful people who are so happy and are doing things that they love…..and they seem to know their purpose.

Don’t get me wrong I’m very happy in my life, the happiest I’ve been in so so so so many years but sometimes I do feel lost. The more I focus on ‘what is it that I’m supposed to be doing’ the further away it seems to be. Often I feel like a small child looking up into this huge world, just in awe of what is around me, wondering where do I go from here? Which step should I take next?

I’m sure others must feel the same and I wonder how they overcome/discover this for them selves?